Step right up, step right up! It’s just what you’ve been waiting for: The Further Adventures of Romer!can (Extended Remix Edition).

Packed with details you’ve never seen before, follow along as Romer!can circumnavigates the urbanity of modern Romania in search of the elusive şaorma. Get all the details in this expanded real-life tale, featuring authentic cameos by a select cast of faithful readers of this very blog.

It’s true; right when you thought you knew the whole story, along comes an entirely new chronicle of selfless pursuit of culinary perfection from Valcea to Talcea. Be the first in your bloc to know the inside scoop.

Ia azi exemplarul tau din Esquire. Valabil exclusiv in Romania.

Ce faceti acolo?

… rabidly pseudo-communist authorities operating within the people’s national transportation and highway bureaus unrelentingly seek — at every turn — to thwart your natural right to expose private auto parts in the public space.

Shocking, I know, but unequivocal nonetheless. To ensure clarity in messaging, Romanians receive directives in easily understood, beginner-level English that they are unable to enjoy the same freedoms of their westernly counterparts within the European Union.

Take heart, dear friends. While there is no car penis, it would appear the next 2 kilometers are naught but sani.

If all the world is truly a stage and we are but players, then there can be no tragedy without comedy. Some places manage to celebrate the lives of those passed. Even poke a little fun.

In Sapanţa, along the Ukrainian border in the Maramureş region of northwest Romania, there lives a relatively new tradition of greeting death with a smile. There the grave markers broadcast in vibrant colors miniature descriptions of the person whose body lies below.

Some of them are down right funny. Some are poetic. Some are clever. Some are just down to earth. But none of them are depressing or angsty. Sapanţa tends to celebrate the human that was and remind us all to consider how we, too, will be remembered after we’re gone.

One of the many place Marie of Edinburgh enjoyed philandering with her international menagerie composed of various men of state was a rather nice beach house set along side the ocean and styled with largely Turkish influences, inside and out, as a result of her being quite enthralled with all things Islamic.

When the free spirited queen had had her fill of royal adventures in the love nest, one could always enjoy a fine bottle of Mavrud wine and enjoy the magnificent view afforded to those lucky few born into the dominating factions of life.

It warn’t too shabby, iffin’ y’alls be askin’ me.