If all the world is truly a stage and we are but players, then there can be no tragedy without comedy. Some places manage to celebrate the lives of those passed. Even poke a little fun.

In Sapanţa, along the Ukrainian border in the Maramureş region of northwest Romania, there lives a relatively new tradition of greeting death with a smile. There the grave markers broadcast in vibrant colors miniature descriptions of the person whose body lies below.

Some of them are down right funny. Some are poetic. Some are clever. Some are just down to earth. But none of them are depressing or angsty. Sapanţa tends to celebrate the human that was and remind us all to consider how we, too, will be remembered after we’re gone.

If you have not yet been to Sighetu Marmatiei, then you simply must put a visit on your next vacation itinerary. Formerly home to a notorious communist prison, it now hosts a memorial museum about horrible things Romanians had to endure.

It is easily the best museum in all of Romania, on any topic, with an enormous body of materials, remnants, photos, letters, raw original documents, and detailed historiography of the events before and during those years.

It would be difficult to think of any other museum throughout all of central and eastern Europe which matches the depth and quality of this facility. You owe yourself a visit.

Don’t worry about getting upset. You’ll find others inside the museum who are unable to stop the tears from streaming down their cheeks as they come face-to-face with the harsh reality and the real people.

…make a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.

Meanwhile, way way way up on top of a mountain (not on top of old smokey all covered with cheese), the hundreds years old matrimonial exchange festival was taking place.

Historically, one would have come to buy a wife, but these days it’s mostly beer and mici.

It’s that yummy time of year when the fruit ripens naturally in the mountains of Oltenia. Unlike an entrepreneurial American child who might make a lemonade stand, these Roma children are forced into child labor by their parents (under penalty of a beating).

Stadium Saint recently shared the bizarre story of Mircea Pavel, a Romanian man condemned to 20 years in jail for murder, who felt he was not responsible for the actions he was convicted of.

So, Mircea sued the responsible party: the invisible man in the sky.

Yes, he literally filed suit in the Romanian court system seeking damages for God’s material breech of contract and gross negligence. That’s a whopper of a legal assertion.

Apparently, Domnule Pavel felt that his baptismal rite conducted by the Romanian Orthodox Church was clear on the point that God would protect him against all evil. But, as we understand it, God failed.

Instead, the Devil achieved access to the man through God’s incompetence and/or willful negligence. And, thus, once the Devil hacked inside the system, root was corrupted and the killing began.

You see, God had agreed to protect Mircea Pavel in exchange for his soul, as was the understood intent and purpose of the Christian baptismal ceremony. Furthermore, Mircea was obliged to remit good faith payments of assets, financial bribes, and prayers to God as part of keeping with the covenant.

Now, if God had upheld his end of the deal, then none of this would have happened. Therefore, God should be found liable for fraud, betrayal of trust, corruption and influence peddling.

I hear you sniggering. Pipe down.

The press have a field day with this stuff. They dangle the raw story above our collective caw and we shuck it down between fits. The inside joke we’re all a part of is the shared assumption this guy is looney as a 13 lei banknote.

It is a highly unusual attempt to redirect blame for murder onto another party, which is not something we encounter often. It’s certainly almost unheard of for someone to blame God for their actions. Especially if you’re of the knowledge there is no bogey man in the clouds.

Beyond all that, we’re quite sure only a nutjob would actually go into a court of law and file a lawsuit against a deity. Absurd! But why? Specifically, it’s because we know — cold and hard — in our little cultural sphere of the European world, a judge would never ever allow the case to get any traction whatsoever.

It’s heresy. Burn the witch!

Particularly in Romania, where “The Church” (as if there were one) is still a spectre of the past, casting it’s long shadow over much of the superstitious portion of the population clinging to their crutches and making the sign of the cross (which, obviously enough, Jesus never did and has no spiritual significance).

The expected result came forth when the Timişoara judge rejected the case on the grounds that God has no residence or address. I’m not a Romanian lawyer, so would a person also be unable to sue parties without a known residence?

Malarkey!

What this really amounts to is an incredibly clever way of establishing the legal basis for the defacto non-existence of deities by the Romanian legal system. Alas, it’s tragic most Europeans rely on codified law instead of common law, where a body of case law could come in handy later.

To prevent any resurrection of such assertions by folks with a cross to bear, the judge decreed that God is above the law. We’re supposed to all laugh with each other, wink and nod. But I find the entire notion highly insulting.

The case is thrown is out because we’re unable to locate God. That’s a problem, particularly when extrapolated to other parties.

Furthermore, negating the need for the first reason, the case is thrown out simply because God — the guy who doesn’t seem to be around, according to the judge — is deemed to be above the law. Who else is above the law, then?

As far as I can tell, without being privvy to the legal briefings or transcripts of the case, the plaintiff apparently made it clear his target were the sanctioned representatives of God who executed the aforementioned contract.

The Romanian Orthodox Church.

Did they show up to court to testify? Possibly, but the original news source does not say. I bet you a nickel they at least had a witness present in the court room.

I wouldn’t really expect any legal system to take such cases seriously, but I find the legal justifications for dismissal to be highly problematic.

One reason gives further fuel to fraud charges against churches, which should be considered entirely reasonable by any rational person.

The second reason is a potential threat to the supremacy of the Romanian Constitution which should not have been an issue raised by the judge during the proceedings.

Is Mircea Pavel completely bonkers?

I’m not one of the many psychologists he’s since been forcibly interned by for treament at “special clinics” (where’s the investigative journalism on this probable euphemism?), but while the guy could be completely off his rocker I do have to admit that he wasn’t so incoherent as to be incapable of mounting a legal battle.

Pure quackery, then? Sure, the guy could be whacked out of his gourd for all I know. I’ll go along with y’all and laugh a bit. It’s not me rotting away in a cell believing in the invisible monsters he was told since childhood are at work in the world.

But some of his recitals, or at least the basis upon which they rest, do appear to have some merit…