Edible Easter

In Romania, the official census reports over 80% of citizens indicate they are members of the Romanian Orthodox Church. Anecdotally, I can attest that most of those have never read the Bible they claim to believe in and, when pressed, have little idea of what the Bible actually says.

Yet, there is a deep christian history in Romania, including other denominations largely hailing from the Transylvania region. There you’ll find a noticeable representation Roman Catholicism with parishoners of mixed ethnicity under an ethnic-Hungarian majority.

Dig deep enough and you’ll find that the intriguing Universalist Unitarian church has its’ origins in Transylvania when people in the region were among the first to throw off the shackles of unenlightened dogma which has been a typical feature of Catholic and Orthodox churches.

These days, the country of Romania has no official national religion prescribed although the relationship between church and state remains a convoluted tangle of influence and occasional corruption.

Romania officially recognizes 16 religions who are are, thus, granted the privilege to preach. An interesting linguistic factoid is that the official legal term for each religion is “cult.”

As much as the consititution appears a hodge-podge, I’d say someone definitely got that one correct.

Ah, but can’t we all get along? Da!

Check your crosses, stars, and cresents at the door. It’s the modern world and our beliefs can be kept close to our bossom while opening ourselves to the cultural aspects that make Paşte a special experience in Romania’s quiver of heritage. Sure to pierce the heart of even the hardest atheist.

What you really need to understand is that the week of Easter in Romania is best experienced with your tongue. The traditional cuisine during the religious holiday includes some downright tasty and delectable treasures you won’t find anywhere else.

Traditional food for Easter in Romania includes pasca and cozonac

Prepare yourself for an excursion into the best of Romania’s culinary offerings. It’s not all kebabs, my pet. Nossir! There are delicious desserts afoot, lurking around the local shops of your friendly neighborhood bakery just waiting for discovery by the cunning and patient foreigner.

I’m talking about pasca and cozonac, my American friends.

Oh, the glory! Walking to the nearby pastiserie on Ferentari, next to the closest kebab stand. It’s a closely held family store which serves the neighborhood with freshly baked pasteries. And during the holy week, you can snag yourself some plain-paper wrapped packages of cozonac and pasca.

Holding it in your hands, the warmth wafts into your skin and immediately endears itself to you. But then the scent broaches your nasal passages so that you immediately fall into a deep love and are barely able to contain yourself from ripping open the paper and burning your hand just to get a hunk of the hot love flirting with your senses.

You’ll have to find the strength to discipline yourself long enough for the journey home, where you can unwrap the aromatic spectacle which is Romanian cozonac — a sweet bread most often found around holidays. The dark brown loaf is continues tantalizing you with it’s physical beauty.
Yet you know inside lurks the amazing taste your nose is trying to warn you about.

A sweet bread seemingly from the very depth of Romanian history itself. Swirling with chocolate goodness, packed with local walnuts from area farms, replete with raisins as you seen grown in the yards of so many homes, and then insiduously trapping you with the bait of turkish delight.

Fresh cozonac sweet bread with walnuts, chocolate, raisins, and turkish delight prepared for Easter in Bucharest, Romania

Mesmerizing, is it not? Aye, but there are dangers yet remaining, my friends. Is it possible that Romania could offer two tempting treats to coincide with its’ ostensibly religious observations? You better believe it, bucko.

Waiting for the oven-fresh batch of cozonac took about 30 minutes, but I had to suffer the pain of refusing to eat it immediately so that I could wait another hour to obtain pasca from the very busy bakery of my new home.

Was it worth the effort? You tell me!

During the Romanian Easter week, traditional cheesecake called pasca is made fresh in local bakeries

Say it with me, now: pah-skah. Pasca. Just look at it. Find a napkin to wipe your chin, because I knoew you’re drooling. This is the Romanian version of cheesecake, boys and girls.

Take a sweet cake recipe, then hollow out a bowl. Fill that with a mixture of telemea cheese, sugar, and a handful of raisins. Cover with a decorative batter-top. Bake and then sprinkle with coconut shavings.

It is my considerably studied opinion that this delicacy is best tasted hot. And then room temperature. And then cold. You must try the entire spectrum so the rainbow of flavors can run the gamut of your taste buds.

There is not anything on this planet like pasca.

So, do yourself a favor and find a knife. Slice yourself from freshly baked cozonoc, so you might revel in its’ cocoa-nutty goodness and chew upon its’ rahat innards, while being sure to include a nice slice of Romanian pasca cheesecake.

No words can describe it. Just dig in and chow down.

Pasca si cozonac pentru Paste

Back in America, you’re all hunting Easter eggs with little kids. I admit, it’s a fun pastime. A cute affair worthy of Kodak moments. But what about the food? Oh, we have marshmallow chicks, jelly beans, Cadbury eggs, and other goodies.

Yet, I’m here to tell you nothing compares to hot, fresh cozonac and pasca.

One must experience it for oneself to know the truth of the words I speak. Maybe it’s holy spirit filling me, but I call upon you to gaze on the greatness of this Romanian fare. Ye shall not know paradise until ye hath tasted of cozonac şi pasca cand it’s fresh.

Maybe you’re persistent. Maybe you’ll ask me about the American chocolate rabbits. Chocolate coins. Chocolate this. Chocolate that. Chocolate heresy.

Chocolate Jesus sculpture

Back Stateside, there was a tempest in a teapot when a well-known artist specializing in food creations decided to create a tribute to Jesus using only chocolate as the basis for his homage. The most radical elements of christianity immediately leashed out in a vindictive campaign to eradicate any such art.

Why? Well, some theorize the objection is that chocolate is dark brown in color. But, even though the West tends to portray Jesus as having been some kind of blonde-haired, blue-eyes eurocentric member of the master race, most intelligent people realize that Christ was a semite who most likely would have had dark, if not curly, hair and brown skin.

It could be that an objection was the Messiah was portrayed naked. Yes, in the nude. The son of God? Ah, but is there really shame to be had in nakedness? Does not the Bible say that man was made in the image of God? Was not Jesus embodied as a man? And if God therefore must have a penis, would it then be a sin to demonstrate that clearly Christ had one as well?

They’re just questions. No need to be a reactionary animal about it.

No one should have felt compelled to make death threats to the artist. It’s just a sculpture. Not a crime. It’s just a man. Not sacrilege. It’s just God’s image. Not heresy. It’s only a sex organ. A penis.

Frankly, considering the lack of theological study on the factual details of the matter, I think the artist went out of his way to be generous.

Naked Christ shown in chocolate sculpture with penis of Jesus

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23 Responses to “Edible Easter”

  1. C. Ovidiu Says:

    I trust you checked their authorization beforehand this time. Remember Vlady-Prod? :D

  2. Denisa - BLOG my mind Says:

    Delicios…

    Că tot a fost Paştele şi, probabil, aveţi timp liber, vă sfătuiesc să băgaţi un ochi la Romer!can. ;)
    Ye shall not know paradise until ye hath tasted of cozonac şi pasca cand it’s fresh….

  3. Romer!can Says:

    CO – You caught me, bud! I trusted my instincts because the family seemed so endearing. But, you’re right, I didn’t check the back kitchen. Still, couldn’t you have waited until well AFTER I had enjoyed the food? There’s still some left… heh.

    Denisa – Multumesc.

  4. Narc Says:

    You know, I love how you think.

    /That is all…

  5. Lola Says:

    Uhm, coconut flakes on pasca is about as traditional as curry marshmallows – but I’m really glad you enjoyed it.

    Tip (in case nobody tipped you in before): try cozonac dunked briefly in red wine and let me know how you liked it. Or if you were able to stop. :))

  6. strudel Says:

    GOT THIS MAIL FOR ROMERICAN – HOPE NOTE A DISGUISED GUY FROM THE EGG-GANG .
    ——————-
    Hi!
    My name is Paul and I discovered strudell.com like one hour ago.
    Can you help me to contact ROMERICAN?

    He posted the articles about Romania. They are really funny and I would like to know him better.

    Thank you very much.

    Paul

    xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxxx

    [Sanitized. -R!]

  7. Paul Says:

    Gee…strudel…I didnt know that you will post my e-mail. I thought that those kind of things are kinda private….my fault. Anyway, what’s the EGG-GANG. I’m lost in translation.

  8. Paul Says:

    Hey Romerican! Super funny comments about Romania. I miss the Pasca and the cozonac. I will come back, maybe next time with a wise comment. :D

  9. strudel Says:

    Shy cosy blogger-dolls post their e-mail and invite unknown readers to write them. Tough brave warriors do not want people know their e-mail and use strange nicks in it to confound the secret service.
    World is getting too complicated . We need lady Auntie to publish an upgraded version of her Handbook of Manners. Apologies.

    (Gee .. Paul, I didn’t know you would scold me here in front of everybody).

  10. mutz Says:

    Only for the brave!
    Try cozonaci cu cirnati!
    Cozonaci with anything (instead of bread)…

  11. Denisa Says:

    Cozonaci cu cârnaţi? Ouch, where did you get that from?

  12. mutz Says:

    from Oltenia. Very nice contrast (not every commercial stupid kind of cirnati) I’m talking about cirnati de porc, facuti la casa omului, afumati la afumatoare la foc fara lemne rasinoase…
    It’s fusion gourmet cuisine :)

  13. Romer!can Says:

    Narc – While rare, I do have my lucid moments.

    Lola – You haven’t heard of the cocos farms along the white sandy beaches of Romania’s coastline? I tell you whut, them there coconuts from Dracula Cove have the best flavor this side of the Mississippi.

    Er, yeah, I guess you caught me there… I was a little tied up in my exhuberance for describing the pasca I wrapped my mitts around, instead of focusing on the fact that Dacian cuisine doesn’t feature a lot of coconut flakes.

    Cozonac with wine? You’re evil! I’ll think about it.

    strudel – Thanks for playing sentry against the double agents.

    Paul – Welcome to the show! Strudel fancies himself something of a court jester, so don’t let the jingling of hat bells distract you. There’s a roving band of protein lobbing youngsters stalking me because I won’t give them an autograph. It’ll pass soon. Thanks for the compliment. Buckle in and hang on for the ride.

    mutz – That is for the brave, indeed. I do not eat pork (my greatest handicap in living here) so carnati is out of the question for me. However, I do know one or two guinea pigs who are likely to be delighted with the danger. Shall I recommend them to use mustar sau fara?

    Denisa – It does sound painful, in a way. My first thought was a hot dog rolled into a pastry. I wonder if that works with Lola’s wine suggestion…

  14. Denisa Says:

    Mutz – Fusion gourmet cuisine? I’d call it extreme cuisine, but if you’ve tried it and it’s OK, enjoy! I am not that brave;)
    …Although I have to admit I like to eat cartofi prăjiţi cu… struguri sau portocale.

    Romer!can – Don’t you know what they say here… that the best vegetable is PORK? Just kidding, good for you, it’s not healthy.

  15. Paul Says:

    Talking about “edge” cuisine, coming back from “Piatra Craiului” Mountains, only left sweet crakers and “pate de ficat” (fois gras in french, I dont know in english, sorry) – lot’s of cans. I couldn’t eat “pate” for one year after that.

  16. Paul Says:

    Strudel, you are always welcome. By the way…what kind of are you? Apple? Blueberry? Pumpkin? Damn I miss home and “cofetaria” across the street and my mother’s cakes, the subway system, thiefs on tramcar no.21 and other small things that seemed non important but now they are so far.

  17. mutz Says:

    Romerican – no mustard
    Denisa + other interested: (As seen on TV) Mustard icecream is used in that fusion cuisine. THAT is extreme.

  18. Romer!can Says:

    Denisa – You ever heard of pork soda? Imagine the possibilities.

    Paul – I should comment on pate sometime. It’s definitely a hidden standard of the Romanian diet and I have no idea why. It’s sold in dog food tins, looks like dog food, smells like dog food, costs less than dog food…

    You have my deepest sympathy and utter dismay that one would find himself so hungry as to eat crackers and liver pate. It’s unsufferable, I say! Clearly, you must have received this inhumane treatment under Ceausescu (or his PSD legacy, at least).

    mutz – I’m going to have ask around and see if I understood correctly “afumati la afumatoare la foc fara lemne” because that make me howl with laughter.

  19. mutz Says:

    lemne rasinoase means wood from coniferous trees.
    There are two different schools of smoking: one with cold smoke, from sawdust, an another with hot smoke, from pieces of burning wood.
    In the first case, the smoke house is something like a barrel? well closed.
    In the second way, the smoking process “e pe vatra” (hearth?)- open fire, and cirnatii are hanged above.
    For the second school of smoking aforementioned, the resin? from such coniferous wood is a blasphemy!

  20. Romer!can Says:

    Hmm, cool details. I’ll have to learn more about that for when barbecue time rolls along because clearly there are some universal basics at play. But, you can see why I’d laugh at the idea of smoked ceva in a smoker fire without wood!

  21. Martha Says:

    Hi! The cakes looked delicious and made me hungry. Unfortunately, I have to have some blood work and can’t eat for a few more hours. I always enjoy reading your blog. Best wishes!

  22. mutz Says:

    sorry- exprimare neglijenta- Butbutbut you must read until the end of phrase
    ok. it’s your blog. YOU have the last word, yessir.

    (thinking: what is that? he thinks i use for smoking rubber tires?)
    (pungas? )

  23. shadowchase Says:

    thanks for posting photos of the chocolate jesus….i love art, edible or otherwise…aside from the controversy it seemed well done

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