On Resourcefulness

People living in Romania tend to be a resourceful lot.

It’s just a cultural thing. Ever since the Romans began poking their imperial nose into Moesia, the peoples originating from Romania have endured centuries of deprivation.

Arising from these historical footnotes, the deeply in-grained and seemingly innate aptitude for skillfulness is a special feature of the region which came to be shared equally amongst all ethnicities under communism.

If you ask a Romanian for advice on which brand of palinca is the best to buy, they’ll snort like a bull before a red flag. Who in their right mind would pay good money for a sterile, sanitary bottle of imitation corporate alcohol clearly intended for tourists only?

No, no, we’ll get the real thing. Let me just ask my friend’s cousin’s grandfather in the countryside to give us some of the homemade palinca they distill from fruit trees on the farm every year and they’ll send it by microbus in plastic 2-liter bottles from apa minerala.

Do a little daily shopping at your nearby alimentara for today’s meals? Well, I reckon you ain’t from around these here parts, stranger, because you paid extra for the plastic bags needed to carry home the very food they just sold you. You see, my friend, a real Romanian would never do that.

No, no, don’t charge me extra. I brought with me these six large plastic bags with their handles stretching to the point of collapse despite being triple-ply reinforced because of the 20-kilos of potatoes and American Cola I’ve been hauling around for the past nine months.

All across Romania, no one takes their Dacia automobile to a shop for service. And waste money like that?

No, no, I’ll fix it myself. Just bring me the rope my grandmother made in the village, the hammer my father created with spare parts, and my bottle of ţuica from the back seat.

When you register a new company with the various bureaucratic authorities, one of the ten thousands hoops you must jump through include proper accounting establishment. But you wouldn’t blow your budget on hiring some random stranger, which means you’re learning.

No, no, don’t worry about it. I was talking to my sister and her boyfriend’s cousin has a girlfriend who is an accountant for some company on the other side of the country who will help sort out the details and paperwork.

Even if the unbelievable happens, like the mayor of a major town authorizes the water company to shut down water across an entire city for several days, only the unprepared fool winds up buying the requisite truckload of 5-liter bottles of water necessary to be able to flush the toilet during that week.

No, no, the Romanian is already prepared. La balcon, he’s got several plastic containers of water which have been stored there since the last water outage four years ago and which repeat with alarming frequency.

Only silly Americans spend hundreds of dollars on a huge machine which takes up nearly two square meters of precious space in the house, makes an incredible amount of godawful racket, and costs even more for the gas or electric heater just so they can dry their clothes.

No, no, that’s complete and utter nonsense! What in the world do you think all this open air, sunshine, and wind is for? Sheesh.

It’s not uncommon for people living in urban areas to grow their own onions, grapes, peppers, apples, garlic or other staples. And from these simple ingredients, you can expect any Romanian worth his salt to be able to create at least two dozen different dishes based on recipes handed down through the generations.

Don’t turn the heater on; wear something warmer. Don’t take a taxi; you’ve got two legs. Don’t order delivery; there’s leftovers in the fridge.

Make no mistake, scarcity has been the original driving factor of all these habits for centuries whereas money, itself, is just masquerading as cause. You make do and invent solutions to answer the problems you face.

Adapt to survive.

Evolution has had its’ effect. Romanians can be crafty and wily, which is a double edged sword in business. Yet, for the interpersonal happenstances of life, there’s no better friend to have in your corner than a Romanian.

Yessir, a Romanian is all you need. He’ll never say die.

When you have given up all reasonable hope of finding a corkscrew and resigned yourself to suffering without wine, the ingenious engineering mind of the typical Romanian kicks into second gear and — come hell or highwater — finds a method to bring you out of the darkness and into the light.

Get ‘er done!

How to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew in Romania

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32 Responses to “On Resourcefulness”

  1. stingo Says:

    You should move to Bucharest. OK?

    OK.

  2. Romer!can Says:

    Actually, this photograph is from Bucuresti.

    But I have thought about it recently, since I’ve stumbled onto an intriguing offer to live there well below market rates. Yet another manifestation of Romanian resourcefulness, in fact.

  3. C. Ovidiu Says:

    I hope that offer didn’t involve a hot water pipe under a bridge. I’m pretty sure they don’t have network connections there. :D

    Using a drill bit for a corkscrew is actually clever. I’ll have to remember this one…

  4. Romer!can Says:

    Well, technically, it’s a slightly better than the spot where the kid in “15″ lives in Bucuresti. =P Though it has no networking connections, I think it’d be possible to change that.

    The ingenuity was a sight to behold!

  5. shadowchase Says:

    Gosh, my grandparents would have made perfect Romanians. Neither side of the family had a car….they walked. They grew their own vegetables…one pair did it in their yard right in the city. Another pair did it on their own farm. Ordering take out, what’s that? They were all dirt poor Americans yet I have great memories of spending time with them. About 10 years ago when I lived on an island, this kind of resourcefulness took me back to that era of my life. I think Romania would have the same impact on me. I suppose in this era, Romania has a quaintness that is disappearing in the rest of the world.

  6. Kim H Says:

    Ha ha…. brings back some great memories!

  7. Mist 1 Says:

    I have a friend who offers to make me things that are readily available. He made me magazine holders out of wine boxes.

  8. Csiki Andy Says:

    Did that actually work though? At first glance it looks very ingenious, but then I imagine that the drill bit just made a hole in the cork, but wouldn’t have anything that would grip the cork and bring it out (if you see what I mean). Obviously you could have poured the wine through the hole you made, but did you actually manage to get the cork out that way?

    (I have always gone for the tried and true method of using a spoon handle to push the cork into the bottle when bereft of a corkscrew. It makes for a slightly unsatisfyingly stop-start pouring process, but nothing that can’t be dealt with)

  9. cristi Says:

    The downside with Andy’s method is that sometimes the wine will spill from the bottle when the cork gets pushed down.

    A more physically involved method but I assure you it works fine:

    Take a cotton towel and wrap it against the bottom of the bottle. Hold the bottle with your left hand at a 45 deg towards the ground to make gravity work for you. Hit the bottom of the bottle with your right hand palm. The cork should be half out after a few hits. You can then pry it out.

    The downside is the wine gets shaken this way.

  10. Alina Popescu Says:

    Great post! It is indeed historically determined. Mostly because during the Communist period, most people had money, but nothing to buy with it really. However I feel we are breaking our connections with such good habits :) Young people would kill for automatized everything, home deliveries etc. I for one had no idea a new car comes with tools to change your wheels…I made my father have a good laugh. But I live in a world of Free Peugeot Assitance all over Europe…maybe a mix would help? Why waste two hours waiting for a special car to come do something you could have done in…5 minutes? :P

  11. Romer!can Says:

    shadowchase - I think you’re right about about the quaintness disappearing into the world. From two points of view. Romania still has this while the rest of Europe has increasingly discarded it, particularly in the urban areas. At the same time, inside Romania, itself, it is slowly dwindling away.

    I suppose one can be nostalgic and hope it lasts forever. Yet, I prefer to realize I’m enriched to have experienced just a small part of it while applauding the transition to an era where these old ways are no longer required in the advanced world just as we no longer copy books by hand, ride horses from town to town, or gather berries from bushes en masse.

    Hard to let go, but some natural progression should not be shunned.

    Kim - Do tell! Got a story to share? Yours are usually good…

    Mist - I’m sensing a pattern here. Next time you’re shopping at your equivalent of Spec’s, do be sure to forego the boxes and inquire as to whether your provider carries any Romanian bottles. Grape growers in Romania have had centuries of fame for their quality wares, which was only interrupted after WWII.

    Andy - Forcing my hand, eh? It is possible to drive the drill bit into the cork to a sufficient depth that you can side-to-side wiggle the cork out of the bottle. I agree it would silly to merely drill a hole.

    However, in this particular case, as gallant as the attempt was, it turns out the Fickle Finger of Fate was pointed elsewhere. It became entirely too difficult to apply enough torque to the bit sufficient to penetrate a certain depth. Progress became bogged and new plans were laid. We proceeded to Cristi’s method and from there it was the spoon which eventually prevailed.

    Still, had we an actual drill (electric or manual) other than slippery plier stripping away the bit, then it could have worked. Alas, I’ve been forced to reveal the truth.

    cristi - Your remarks are biased to a particular hand preference and you should be ashamed of…. oh, oh… yeah, well, we tried the ol’ “bang the bottle” method and managed to overly stir the wine to no avail. In fact, I learned of more than one account from those present of anecdotes whereby the bottle actually broke from the pressure of glass slapping. I gather one must be careful when engaging in this technique. Fortunately, all were sober enough to be cautious.

    Alina - Seriously?!?! Hahahaha… that’s gotta be the most girlie story I’ve heard in years. Total classic. I’ve tended to agree, in all but legal terms, with friends who espoused notions that perhaps tests for a driver’s license should require at least one attempt at changing a flat tire, just because it remains common. Although, with the latest generation of run-flat tires, maybe I’ve finally crossed the threshold from young to old.

    Still, what a gas. I suppose you felt like a ninny afterward. Ah, but where should one draw the line? I’ve called service before to unlock my doors after locking the keys inside while other people would have fished the lock with a wire hanger.

    (Of course, I remind these rib-elbowing smugsters that I had electric locks. Not that it phased them.)

  12. Frank Says:

    I’m with Andy. I’ll be impressed if the drill bit edges (assuming you or your clever friend didn’t fire up a drill to get it in there) catch without leaving a hole in the cork still in the bottle. ;)

    Anyway, a question — what’s with the funky dates on your blog (e.g., “Gerar 21st”)?

    Are you telling me I have to learn Dacian now? >:-[ :-)

    Fir-ar dracu sa fie…

  13. Alina Popescu Says:

    Well, I don’t know if it’s a girlie story…It is a story about what not giving a damn is. When I had to, I did repaint a student hostel room. I had no idea how to, but I learned. With my car…well, when I know there’s someone else who would do it, like my dad, I never bother. Seeing how easy it is, I would now be too ashamed to not do it :P Still, giving my enormous height and strength, I still pray that will never be necessary when I’m all alone :D

  14. Romer!can Says:

    Frank - No, sir, these are Romanian names… not Dacian words.

    They are Romanian language names, in so far as I can tell with my limited academic research, which are based on the Romanian/Balkan Latin which existed at the time of the modern calendar creation. My understanding is that these names were used for centuries.

    Many people refer to these as now being “merely folknames” or some other hogwash. I’m a sucker for Romanian originality so I rail against the ignorant would-be authorities of language and insist on using the correct Romanian language names for months.

    In fact, the “modern” names are not modern at all, but quite old. To boot, they are merely Slavicized terms introduced by an Orthodox Church (possibly owing ecclesiastical allegiance to Russia or some such logic) which effectively created a loss of Romanian language and, therefore, in my mind, some loss of cultural heritage.

    I’d love to learn more, frankly, but resources are hard to come by. I doubt I have the big picture entirely backwards, although I am no doubt missing many interesting details.

    Alina - So, I’ll take it upon myself to dispense advice you never asked for. Consider possibly picking a weekend day to just try it once, when you have some help around. Why? So, you’ve at least had one practice which you can remember in the event you really need to take care of business.

    Who wants to be stuck in the middle of nowhere as things grow cold and dark? Practicing once on a weekend could take 5 to 15 minutes and you’d be better prepared.

    Of course, being a hideous behemoth such as you are, I bet you could lift up the car with just one monsterous pinky and forcibly eject the wheel with just a single menacing glare accompanied by your beastly snarl.

  15. Frank Says:

    Oh! I was not aware Romanians used words for months that might go back to Old Church Slavonic, or at least Russian Orthodox influence. Makes sense, though. Now I gotta pester Mrs. RamPage. :D Or read more church literature… *headscratch*

    Croatians do something similar, I think. At least, some use Slavic root words for the months instead of the usual cognate Latin roots.

    See? And you were pooh-poohing your Romanian skills… :D Băăăă, o să înveţi limba asta mai bine decât 99% străinilor, cât mai timp stai acolo in tara-mumă… :-)

    Oare Alina e aşa gigantică? Iiip… Ei bine, acum noi americanii aşteptăm să vină românii. :-)

    Mi-e foame. E prânz. Mănânc înainte să vină tavalugul românesc. Pa!

  16. Frank Says:

    Brief conversation with Mrs. RamPage tonight — she thought it had more to do with an agrarian calendar, not a Slavic Orthodox one. After all, “gerar,” “florar” (sp?) don’t sound too Slavic. ;-)

    But I hope our Romanians here can shed light on where it comes from?

  17. Alina Popescu Says:

    Very funny! I will try it one weekend, that was the plan with my dad. As for the ways I already have to change tires, they imply saying: “Please, Little Mushroom, change it yourself and mom is going to take you to the car spa for it! “. As my car is a she, but too much like me, such temptations don’t work every time! :D So, the alternative is to grab unsuspecting men and to threaten them. Change it or else you will meet the daughter of Dracula! :P

  18. Romer!can Says:

    Frank - Mrs. RamPage would be vindicating my position, then! These old names are the original Romaneste terms. What I’m saying is the terms-currently-in-use are from the Slavic Orthodox! Hence, my insistence on using ‘proper Romanian…’

    Alina - Do as I say or I”ll put “the gypsy’s curse” on you… heheh.

  19. Alina Popescu Says:

    Neah, it won’t work :) I’ll just go to some old woman in my grandma’s village, drink weird stuff in weird positions for three days at sunset and it will be all gone!

    I actually did that as a child to cure some bad dreams and fears (I think, I don’t really remember the reason) :P

  20. Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Romania: On Resourcefulness Says:

    […] Romerican reports on the amazing resourcefulness of Romanians: “When you have given up all reasonable hope of finding a corkscrew and resigned yourself to suffering without wine, the ingenious engineering mind of the typical Romanian kicks into second gear and — come hell or highwater — finds a method to bring you out of the darkness and into the light.” Veronica Khokhlova […]

  21. Romer!can - Dispatches from an American in Transylvania Says:

    […] Amidst the new tiles covering last year’s peeling paint, we have just witnessed the glorious ingenuity of the indefatigable Romanian ethic. The purity of our cause has released unto us a bottle of fantastic wine grown, cultured, and sold in Romania. We are on the very cusp of satiating our most debased evening desires perchance to dabble in but just a wee bit of vino. […]

  22. Fyurien Says:

    Brilliant!!

    Thank you for the good laugh mate. You have been forever linked on my blog just for this post.

  23. Rotexan Says:

    As a Romanian and drinker, the guy in the picture is a fake! Everybody knows the right tool is a screwdriver.

  24. sash Says:

    I totally agree :D
    or if lacking one, batteries from a lantern can be of help, considering you are handy and stop pushing just in time, before dropping them inside; you can use your finger for the following millimetres.

  25. Emil Says:

    “Gosh, my grandparents would have made perfect Romanians.”

    … if they, or their parent/grandparent would have believed the ship ticket to US was too expensive, they might have become Rumanians … those parts of Rumania South and East of the Carpathians and are not steep mountains were colonized during the XIXth century … then the second generation colonists put in the 1866 constitution, in the first article, that “no foreign populations should be allowed to settle” … no use, it seems, since during a 1899 census it was showed that more than half of the Bucharest inhabitants (about 800,000) were foreign born (Italians, Germans, Jews, Poles, Hungarians, Bulgarians: the Italians had the majority, then the Jews and the Germans). Bucharest is still the second biggest Hungarian city in the world (about 200,000).

    The famous Doina of Eminescu (himself the son of a second generation Rumanian father of Serbian origin and of a Ruthenian mother) was accurate. Even now, it’s hard to find a Rumanian that does not remember a grandparent or grand-grandparent that … was not of pure Roman/Dacian stock.

    Of course, this is not spoken much now, since in theory “ne tragem din Daci si din Romani”. Still, it would be interesting to see some fellows dig out the papers of their grandparents, and ask for “repatriation” :D … my guess, based on … guesswork backed by suppositions about the degree of inbreeding the immigrants tolerated, is that about half of Rumanians could claim citizenship some place else.

  26. TZM Says:

    Hahahaha, utterly brilliant and completely true, as well, in every detail !!!

    Regarding the Palinca argument, however, I have to agree with the people you quoted : the ”corporate” one is complete rubbish while the home-made one is 100% natural (if you’re not naive enough to buy it from some countryside folk that actually turned the whole thing into a business).

  27. chiar eu Says:

    emil is in fact Hungarian, half Bulgarian from his father side (unknown story nor reason, grandmother involved)

  28. Dylana Carlson Says:

    Thank you for your site!

    My husband and I have been following your site for the past year. We just moved to Brasov from the states back in September. We loved your story about the palinca. We had an experience our first weekend here when we took the microbus over to Iasi to visit with some friends. On the way back we sat next to a Romanian couple that talked with us the whole way back to Brasov- with them knowing no English and us knowing small amounts of Romanian. They shared their homemade wine with us-from an Dorna apa minerala bottle.

    Multumesc!

    Dylana and Michael

  29. George Says:

    Romarican… very clever. Love the flag. I’m having one made first chance I get. And the romanian bottle opener… oh so true… except I always resort to the utensil pushing the cork in the bottle method.

  30. Ana Says:

    Well,

    Seems pritty gloomy, doesn’t it?
    Oh, but when you think about the Americans who won’t ever bother growing anything themselves, instead they’ll buy their vegetables from Australia, will have them washed in Norway, packed in India, an imported from Tansania…..hat is to cut it short…..still think that the ones grown in Romanian balconies are fresher….

    The thing about plastic bags: it’s caled recycling an is the very thing you keep preaching about to everyone - but you won’t hear anything about it - remember Kyoto Protocol….???

    The thing about water being cut …well it’s surely not too bad if people are still prepared from last time when it happened…several years ago, as you say…still…it never happened this to me, and surprisingly enough I have ben living in a large city for over 30 years no…well… I am yet to learn about it…from an American!

    And stop complaining about people’s ingeniosity you so sarcasticly illustrate…did you enjoy the wine?

  31. danno Says:

    Hi there everyone, could anyone please tell me, how high is the level of corruption there? is it possible to buy a drivers licence. And if so where and how much?

  32. Mr. Black Says:

    Hi there! I found out about this blog last summer when I returned to Romania after some time abroad, so I was curious to find some expats around here and know what they feel about my country. (I’m Romanian.) This particular blog is quite all right (so far). I haven’t had time to read it “page by page” but I probably will. I do find some subtle sarcastic touches like Ana pointed out, but they’re not by far as bad as another blog of an American expat which I will not mention here and now.

    However, I’m annoyed by “Emil”’s intervention who came up with fictional arguments taken from some hungarian or jewish pulp literature book about the history of …well..the first people of Europe (us). “Chiar eu” is probably very accurate regarding “Emil”’s backroud, but Emil can as well be half vulgarian and half hungarian from his father’s side. Such blockheads like “Emil” and the insanities that they cast should not be taken seriously.

    Danno, what corruption are you talking about? Any fields in particular? I can provide you with such a thing, but you have to get in touch with me. It’s quite riscky, though… But why do you need one in the 1st place? Wanna steal ya’ daddy’s car and take ya’ gal on a ride?

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