Romanian Unibrow
I’ve avoided mentioning how Romania seems to have a disproportionately larger percentage of folks with a unibrow, primarily because I like diversity and don’t want to offend anyone. But now, I’ve said it.
Scienticians are currently theorizing the cause of the Romanian unibrow may be a direct result of genetic lineage. As early humans came out of Africa, they spread their seed amongst the native neanderthal populace occupying Wallachia and the surrounding areas who could not outrun their randy predators.
Proof of Romania’s savage and barbaric ancestry has been confirmed in recently published reports about a skull found in aptly-named Peştera cu Oase (“Cave with Bones”) in the mountains of Caraş-Severin county in the Banat region near Serbia.
While forensic investigators have confirmed the presence of abnormally large molars, there is no conclusive word yet from the Council of European Dentists as to whether or not this proto-Romanian might offer evidence regarding any interbreeding with their northeasternly neighbors from Transylvania whose inhabitants are thought to have had retractable, sharply-pointed teeth.
January 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Ah, you kill me! Hair growing on the prominent brow ridge!! And it’s still there… sheesh, I think I’m going to die laughing, especially since I just read the pertinent article about ten minutes ago! :)
January 17th, 2007 at 10:09 am
This is soo funny! You know, there’s a saying according to which people with such a unibrow will marry close to their homes. I however have no idea if it’s true :)
January 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
aaaaaah, c’mon, man, loool, i ain’t got no unibrow, lol. u makin me look bad, haha. by da way, its been a long since i last visited the site, but im baaaack ;). so wuts crackin?
January 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Blog Queen – We can all hypothesize how thick and woolly it surely was if posterity was left ample evidence of this clearly dominant trait. ;)
Alina – Supposedly because only the people they grew up near would understand and accept them? Slanderous! Insensitive! I for one support the forming of a committee…
WFS – I thought you probably got arrested for hacking. How fast is your broadband connection in the penitentiary? And does your unibrow get you more play at grab-ass than other convicts?
January 17th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Remind me to send a thank you note to my dentist.
January 17th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I too have witnessed the curse of the unibrow…..some of which are now relatives through marriage….therefore barring me from any previous comments…..I think the Romanian waxing industry is primed to succeed in the months to come….Maybe we’ll start some collaborative business…say a Dentistry & Cosmetology studio? I could use some of those fancy retractable incisors!!!
January 17th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Mist – No doubts there… the rest of us think you’re plenty dangerous already!
Ron – You’re a wise man to refrain from making comments will would otherwise leave a permanent mental scar on any offspring which might claw its way out of your union with other species.
Whoa, oh… oh… say, Maria… p-p-ut the knife down…
Still, I must say I like this new venture: Snips & Nips
January 18th, 2007 at 10:11 am
The earliest modern humans in Europe were not completely “modern” and continued to evolve after… (from one of the news links, but they all say the same)
No shit. You mean evolution doesn’t have an end point? What will this wacky world throw up next? Why are the media reporting the fact that “humans continued to evolve” as news?
January 18th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Golly, I dunno, Andy.
I mean every single one of my sunday school teachers were unanimous in showing me the absolute and infallible word of God as found in copies of the book written by God himself, not humans. Therein, the voice of the Almighty clearly states that the Earth was made in exactly six days including the part where God waves his magic wand and duplicates his own image using some clay. If all that’s not precision engineering, then I wouldn’t know what to believe.
January 21st, 2007 at 11:31 pm
No Romanian will ever be able to best the Unibrow of All Time.
I give you…
Momcilo Krajisnik!!
(Bosnian Serb of ill repute during and after the war…)
http://www.ddh.nl/org/poo/pics/momok.jpg
Ha.
That is all.
January 28th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
[...] What you fail to understand is just how mashable this new Europe can be. Ideas seems to increasingly free-flow from one group to another. The resulting pollination brings some consequences I’m not at all sure we’re collectively prepared to accept. [...]