Tonight I had the opportunity for a short discussion of sorts on the topic of religion and cake. It caused me to remember that last time these two things intersected, which was around the Easter holiday earlier this year. Romanians have a godsent bucata which seems to only appear around the Paşte season.

It’s made from a flavored sweetbread called cozonac, which is hollowed out in a bowl-like shape. Inside is a cheese mixture, using something akin to cream cheese (or ricotta), along with spices such as cinnamon. It may include raisins, as seen below. If you are in-country during the birth-death-rebirth celebrations, be sure to pick one up.

It wasn’t very long ago that I stared dumbfounded at a pack of soap being sold in Romania. Once again, the English language was used heavily in all the marketing areas because that’s the cool way to promote your wares these days. Our German friends, Schwartzkopf & Henkel, have a factory in Poland where they manufacture some bar soap under the sexy Fa brand that is sold to Romanians.

Now, this particular box touted some benefits I’d never seen marketers have the gall to hype before. Yessir, there it was plain as day: water plant extract. It even had the ever-popular swoosh from last decade to help elevate its hipness is the lagged preception of the Romanian consumer. Yeehaw, baby.

And what was really special about it was the illustration of the water plant itself! Encased in a protective bubble to demonstrate just how precious it should seem to your fragile, associative psyche. The throbbingly green color of the leaves were just oozing with photosynthical youthful vigor and vital growth. Bursting forth — unable to be contained — are cascading sheets of life-giving juices, spread apart in a glorious arc as if to enrich every part of you in water.

Water.

I mean, that’s what they’re talking about right? Water plant extract. What do you extract from such a plant, if not water? Why, water, of course. They went to great lengths to design this packaging so that you’ll part with your money in order to get some soap with water.

Water.

Meh. At least they weren’t lying.

Recently, undercover reporters from Romerican.com have anonymously revealed confirmation that Romania has, indeed, accomplished a few more of the key conditions required to join the European Union. While it remains to be seen whether the Romanians can maintain stability in these areas, a major milestone has been reached nonetheless. And, here, now, is what our investigators have risked life and limb to document the presence of.