Match 6 - Group B - Tuborg vs Timişoreana
Saturday noapte’s first leg of a scheduled triple-header featured a tease of the T’s. On one side of the ring was Tuborg, the third foreign beer to qualify for competition and quite possibly the most common beer in all of Romania, which originally hails from recently embattled Denmark. Squaring off against it was Timişoreana the pride and soul of 1718 Temesvar, winner of medals in 1891 and 1908, and self-proclaimed prima fabrica de bere din Romania. Each team arrived by bus to the BraşoDome.
Managed by Graffiti BBDO in Bucuresti, the de luxe beer team of 1895 Copenhagen made sure to promote it’s seasonale theme of “Tuborg, iţi elibereaza imaginaţia!” Translators on hand specified that this meant Tuborg was exceptionally clever in marketing the idea to young men that they could use Tuborg to relax the inhibitions of sexual prey, if not outright get the victim drunk altogether. Oy vey!
Timisoreana, owned by South African giangantocorp SABMiller, countered by promoting its three centuries of heritage when the brewery was founded in commemoration of the Habsburg empire’s brutal crushing of the Turks in 1718 at the experienced (and many say brilliant) hands of Eugène de Savoie-Carignan, who fought on behalf of the Roman church and was wounded 13 times during his efforts to free Hungary from Ottoman rule. God, war, and beer. Smashing!
When it came time for the opening cap-off, officials noticed that Tuborg was running a contest. “Castigi cu Tuby Cap!” So, Spammy was called in to personally oversee the removal of the old-school peel-off bottle-top (with-hyphenation) and thrillingly inspect for cadou. Ba nu!
The action was fast and furious for the first half, with a rapid exchange of sips and gulps as baffled judges sought to determine a difference between the flavor strategies of each team. With distinction being so elusive, an executive decision was made to abandon frozen mugs in favor of simple pint glasses. Once temperatures rose several degrees to a nice cool, the distance between the two teams was microscopic. Timişoreana was noted to have just a slightly hoppier after taste while Tuborg was a bit more watery. However, the big blue T was unable to capitalized on the difference and score any points.
The halftime show captivated a riveted audience with its rather enjoyable bit of Serenity. During halftime most of the crowds headed for the snack bar. So did Spammy.
Once back on the grass, each team tried to score points with their relatively clean and somewhat crisp tastes. While still unable to gain advantage over one another on taste, the two teams were considered to be acceptable light summerbeers by most of those on the sidelines. In the end it was Timişoreana who found a market advantage in cheapness and bopped one into the scorebox. GOAL!
Upset, the Danes called for an instant replay. Spammy was on hand to verify the recommended preţ and ensure no buyers were being ripped off by their local alimentara.
And that’s the way it ended folks. More or less enjoyable but without any devastating excitement.
Final score: Tuborg 0 - Timişoreana 1
June 18th, 2006 at 11:49 pm
Timisoreana might not be the best brew in the competition but sure is the one I have the most memories with - after all, I spent my University years in the town where it’s brewed. The factory has a large beer garden where they simply roll the huge barrels of fresh brew in .. they also make awesome mici. It’s also the best place in the world to watch a footbal match. You lose your voice by the end of the first round, but the adrenaline amount you get for the price of a few mugs is priceless.
June 19th, 2006 at 9:51 am
I was very fortunate during the Uni days. I was in Seattle, where many of the world’s finest beers are, and managed to blow ever extra nickel on educating myself in extracurricular enlightenment. While it may not have been cheap for me, I can still understand your emotional proximity to Timisoreana!