Lion King in Romania
When I think about it, the Lion King broadway show must have really tittilated all the furries. I mean, here are people getting paid to live the life, right? Fully grown adults dancing on stage in semi-aboriginal dry grass headress, wearing animal based costumes (some even in fur), while singing and jumping and twirling and role-playing. And they get paid for it. Yes, I imagine the FurNation folks must be quite jealous for not being paid. On the other hand, does the fact that so many people in the United States paid good money to see the show somehow hypocritically conflict with their rejection of the furry underworld? Methinks maybe.
Alas, we’re not here to talk about human adaptations of Disney’s The Lion King. Nor how to get the DVD for free. Nor where you can find Romanian subtitles (pop-under warning!) for those who are learning Romaneste or those who natively speak it. No, we’re here to honor something entirely more popular and more ancient than The Lion King.
What? Why, chocolate, of course. Behold the Nestle Lion, King Size!
The international conspiracy of Chocolateers is most definitely operating within the borders of Romania, apparently infiltrating under the guise of large business conglomerates. Everywhere you turn are American Snickers, Twix and Kit Kat (though this last one tends to be the white chocolate variety instead of the US-standard dark) looming from the shelves of alimentara and other assorted merchantry. It should come as no surprise to find the Germans involved, as well. After all they are rather… well, German.. aren’t they? That’s why you can find Kinder lurking about in nearly equal quantity. Mmm… German chocolate…
And the world’s largest food company? No doubt. Global kingpin Nestle maintains a presence in Romania. The weapon of choice is the disarmingly delicious Lion candy bar which was very recently redeployed in King Size units.
Ever suffering for you, my dear reader, I felt duty-bound to mercilessly throw myself upon the grenade so that I might endure the terrible release of evil alone, thus sparing you from harm.
And, you know what? Death ain’t so bad, y’all.
Nestle takes some neopolitain wafers and sticks them together with some sort of sugar-based stickiness (presumably not corn syrup, but I could be wrong), then surrounds those wafers with caramel. Interestingly, it seems as though one additional wafer is then placed atop that wafer-caramel concoction, before the entire thing is bathed in deep, dark chocolate which has bits of puffed rice (rice crispies!) swimming around. The final result is called Lion, probably a reference to Nestle’s hard-working African employees.
Those who know me best are probably mildly amused to find me eating chocolate. It’s true that I don’t normally care for it. I suppose it was just the call of the wild which tempted me to dabble in this bit of yumminess. I suppose once per year is still acceptable… or, um, like, twice…
